Carnival Cruise Director Schedule

June 4, 2017
Carnival Triumph Cruise Review

To start today I want to make a bit of a statement. You see, this week someone wrote to Carnival suggesting I was a dinosaur non-politically correct waste of blood and organs who had no right to be working for an organisation like Carnival Cruise Lines. So with your kind permission, I would like to say something to that regard. To me, political correctness started as a pretty good concept, a great idea that fat blokes like me should not be allowed to talk about or have fun with……..well………anything. But then it took over the world so that when something non-PC was said committees and organisations could hold emergency meetings and decide if a joke or word or a suggestion is worthy of having the author fired and then sued. And here comes the self-serving massive pat on the back for me bit. You see, I have to ask the question — if I am so offensive as was suggested by someone this week, why haven’t I been fired?

Well, obviously I like to think that I am providing a service and that aside from jokes about the French and other nationalities and, indeed, constant self-deprecating humour, I provide a service of information and assistance. Why do I get by far and away the biggest audience in the cruise blog world and why do I have 54, 000 readers on Facebook? I like to think that it is because my writing is virtually the only unedited blog written from the heart and not from the corporate playbook there is in the cruise industry. I am a middle-aged, overweight chap and I can’t write in a metrosexual touchy feely way, I just can’t. I am the same on stage as well as anyone who has seen me will tell you. I start each week making fun of myself and, by doing that, show that it’s OK to laugh at yourself and with others. I do cross the line but what scares me is that line is getting narrower every day and soon it will become a non-existent line and, quite frankly, that scares me. So maybe I am a dinosaur but, to the person or persons who think I am bad person, a cruel one even, I really am not. I like to think I have a heart as big as our ships but in this politically correct world we all live in…………. I wonder if that is enough?

Time to move on and get into some questions – away we go;

Linda Navarro asks:
Hi John,
Not a question, just a comment about the Texan who didn’t think the Indian food should be continued. We LOVE the tandoori food bar and are disappointed when they don’t have it on a ship, like the Conquest. We are heading to the Carnival Breeze tomorrow and will be eating tandoor every day! Keep it going!

John says:

Hello Linda Navarro

There are many who agree with you and I think a lot of people though are nervous to try it but once they do, they are smitten. The butter chicken is fantastic. So enjoy all that wonderful food and I wish you the very best of times. Best wishes.


Melanie Ottinger asks:

Having read many times your glowing recommendations for Carnival’s pay extra steak house, I decided on my cruise on Carnival Dream to give it a try. Imagine then how disappointed and, honestly, John, how quite angry I was at the total lack of choices for vegetarians. You’re going to tell me that it is a steakhouse so what do I expect? I expect Carnival, like every other steakhouse I have been to in New Jersey, to have more than one choice for the main dish which was some sort of mushroom pie which was tasteless. Maybe when you recommend the steakhouse, you should have the common decency to add that Carnival does not cater to vegetarians because it was the worst $35 I have ever spent!

Hello Melanie Ottinger

I am very sorry to read about your disappointment with our much applauded steakhouse on the Carnival Dream. I do realise that, outside of the many side dishes, there is only one main course choice and maybe we should look at adding at least one more. I will bring this to the chef and see what we can do. Please also make sure next time you cruise that you let the steakhouse hostess know the day before that you are going to be eating there so they have time to prepare something that hopefully you will really enjoy. I hope despite this that you had a great cruise and that we see you again soon. Best wishes.

Raimondo Quijada asks:
John, can you tell me why the most popular type of music in the whole world is so poorly represented on your boats – LATIN MUSIC, my friend. My family and I were expecting lots of bands playing this on our cruise on Carnival Victory from MIAMI but there was none. Why, when most of your customers from Miami are Latino? The service was very good but no Latin music meant we were bored after dinner.

Hello Raimondo Quijada

Thanks so much for writing and let me start, if I may, by respectfully stating that, while some of the guests on the ship were from Miami, hundreds of others were not and we do try and cater to all of North America and beyond when it comes to music on the ships. There were, of course, shows and comedy shows each night which I hope you saw because it would be a shame if you missed them. I also see that we have a band playing now on the ship called Mambo Magic. I am not sure if they were there when you were but we have them there now as part of the varied music selection. I do hope you had a great cruise and that we will see you again soon. Best wishes.

Stacie Waters asks:

I am so thankful for the wonderful news you post and your blog. Just wanted to tell you to hold your head high and not worry about the haters, they’re just jealous. Love you and Carnival. Can’t wait to sail again.

Hello Stacie Waters

That is so very kind of you and, as you see from the start of the blog, sometimes I…. well ………… never mind, just a huge thank you to you for your support and if there is ever anything I can do please let me know. Best wishes.

Floyd Conklin asks:

Hi John, we love the Punchliner comedy shows but also love the drink of the same name. Any chance of getting me the recipe? Thanks, John.

Hello Floyd Conklin

I am very glad to read you enjoy laughing out loud at the comedy shows and here is the drink that probably helps just a little. Hope you get to enjoy it one again with us soon. Cheers.


.5 0z. Sky Vodka
.5 OZ Flor de Cana
.5 OZ Bombay Gin
.5 OZ Blue Curaco
1.00 OZ Lemonade
0.75 OZ Monin Lychee Syrup
Splash of club soda
Put everything in a mixing cup – shake well while wearing only underpants and pour in a large glass over ice, garnish with lemon

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